W. KAMAU BELL

“We’re Sorry, Black People!” #1 – The Return of White Supremacy

This is the 1st edition of my new segment on Allison Kilkenny’s & Jamie Kilstein’s Citizen Radio podcast. You can read it here 1st before you hear it on Saturday HERE.

Enjoy…

Just like dramatic celebrity weight loss and frozen yogurt, white supremacy has made a comeback. And this time is coming to YOUR town.

On Saturday, April 17th, a white supremacist organization held a protest in Los Angeles. Let me say that again… A WHITE SUPREMACY RALLY WAS HELD IN 2010. Not 1810! Not 1910! Not 2009! 2010!!! And it was in Los Angeles? Not like they usually do it in places like southern Indiana where there aren’t even enough black people to have an all black doubles tennis match… let alone a good race war.

The white supremacy organization in question is named The National Socialist Movement and they were protesting. I don’t know. I think it was immigrant’s rights, goodness, joy, candy.

I’m also not exactly sure how their brand of socialism mixes with the brand of socialism that Obama is allegedly selling, but I do know that somebody on that side of the aisle needs a dictionary STAT.

Apparently these white supremacists were from Detroit. And look, if you are from Detroit, I can understand you being angry, but your anger is certainly not the fault of the mud races. It is the fault of General Motors. & GM is run by white people who’s failure effectively disproves the myth of white supremacy.

Now although the white supremacists had a permit for 150, sadly for them only about 40 of their members showed up for the protest. But we all know how that goes. You set up the Facebook invite. You invite 1000 white supremacists. 150 white supremacists SAY that they’re coming, but only 40 show up. And none of the maybes show at all. Which is hard because you bought white sheets, chip, and dip for 150.

They mostly spent their time walking around shirtless, exposing pot bellies and poorly done swastika tattoos, drunkenly screaming “Seig Heil!” and waving Nazi flags. I just want to pull these dudes aside and tell them, “When Hitler was talking about the Aryan race he wasn’t talking about YOU.”

But it is still a dangerous sign.

Because the last thing we need is White Supremacists feeling safe to go to our major cities. Because the more safe white supremacists feel, the more they will take up space in society, and the more space they take up, the more mainstream they become. And the more mainstream they become the closer we are to white hipsters in Brooklyn wearing Ku Klux Klan robes “ironically.”

The last thing I want is some 105 pound, skinny jeans & horned rimmed GLASSES wearing — white dude looking at me like I’m crazy because I’m looking at him like HE’S crazy because his T-shirt reads, “My parents went to Tennessee and all I got was lousy white hood and a burning cross.”

This is all completely the fault of the Tea Party & the extreme right. The Tea Partiers and the Rush O’Reilly’s of the world are so crazy that the white supremacists feel like, “Hey! our brand of crazy isn’t so crazy anymore!” And they feel safe to come out to the major cities instead of staying put in the hinterlands and parent’s basements of America.

Overall this return of white supremacy is just an embarrassment. An embarrassment to good white people, an embarrassment to the counter protestors who far outnumbered the white supremacists, and an embarrassment to the LAPD.

I bet they were like, “HEY! We don’t need white supremacists making trouble. It is our job to oppress the minorities of Los Angeles! And we’re doing a good job. Google us!”

My favorite part of the news story is that when the rally ended at 2:30pm, the police escorted the white supremacists to their vehicles, but one car failed to start.

Let’s keep it that way. Let’s keep the car of white supremacy stalled.

So here’s what I’m proposing. Good white people, it is specifically your job to make the Tea Partiers and extreme conservatives feel ostracized and weird. And then they will return to making the white supremacists feel ostracized and weird. And then the white supremacists will return to their parents basements.

7 Responses to “We’re Sorry, Black People!” #1 – The Return of White Supremacy

  1. Nicole says:

    Fucking hilarious. Can’t wait to hear more.

    “When Hitler was talking about the Aryan race he wasn’t talking about YOU.”
    Reminds me of some tragically misinformed kids I went to high school with. One of them an Alaskan Native.

  2. Chris Garcia says:

    “You invite 1000 white supremacists. 150 white supremacists SAY that they’re coming, but only 40 show up. And none of the maybes show at all. Which is hard because you bought white sheets, chip, and dip for 150.”

    Classic, Kamau. Hilarious and on point as ever. Congrats on the new gig!

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